if you guys want search for me on instagram, killeh. its a little closer look into my life & is updated more often them my tumblr is.

cleaned up.

looking for new people to follow 

just got home, pretty zooted: hot shower & trying not to wake anyone up (ex: knocking over the shampoos). after i think ill lay in bed & wake erin up! but i tried 2 1/2 times.

 first day of classes tomorrow! yeah, im sad summer is over, but that means fall is coming & so are all the holidays. i think i am more excited to see everyone i haven’t seen during the summer. & its senior year, and i love my grade - they all go in. its like we are one big family, so dope. my sleeping pattern is pretty much fucked for the next month, but hopefully i can fix it soon. everyone is dressing up tomorrow (well sorta) so i got my outfit ready to go, best believe were swaging it out. so i can officially say ‘its a school night’. goodnight everyone & good luck to everyone who has their first day tomorrow!

 the reason we don’t talk isn’t because things didn’t work out, its cause you put no effort. shit does suck, and yeah it was hard. but you know what, glad i realized that we weren’t gonna make it ahead of time, didn’t need another heart break. you were something good in my life, but all good things gotta come to an end, right? i laugh now, at the fact of what i saw in you. i used to give a fuck, guess your shit outta luck.

 the feeling you know that it wouldn’t work out, that feeling that drives you crazy cause you know you want it to be the way you want it and none other, the feeling that tells you it should’ve been the way you planned it. its not so much about who he really is, but what i saw in him. things in my view were crystal clear, but when it all came down to it, it wasn’t exactly what i thought & he wasn’t exactly who i thought he was. he seemed perfect for me, but when i looked the second time around, he wasn’t.

you always seem to fall for the ones that never want you, or in other words.. you always want what you can’t have. I think thats my biggest problem, i wanna try and push the standards a little bit further each time, theres nothing wrong with that, i just never prepare myself for when i fail from time to time. starting to realize what doesn’t feel right, is actually the best thing for me.. my life without him is going to be a walk in the park.. because i know out there is the perfect puzzle piece, that fits perfectly, no forcing it.

 i honestly just want to break down and fucking cry right now. everything that is going on is taking such a toll on me. when something bad happens to me, its just not one thing - its multiple. like i feel like haven’t been truly happy in so long. people think its fun to play games & all, yeah until someone gets hurt then its no longer funny.. well if your the one getting hurt its not. i try to do my best w/ everything i do, and just get shit outta of it.

its time to start removing people who don’t deserve to be in my life, its time to get my life on the right path. i need to become more content with everything. this isn’t how i want to be, im seriously a wreck right now. im usually so strong, just comes to show you how bad it is. i need no pity, just something good to come along. i honestly am done w/ everything.

i literally just sat here and spilled my heart out to my ex-girlfriend. & now that i think about it, my life has not been the same since we parted. we talk on a regular basis but thats still not enough for me. when i say i had the best girlfriend, i really did. she always had a smile on her face, she always knew how to make me crack up with her sarcasm, and she always knew how to make me feel better about my family situations. we said we would try it again in a few months, but we haven’t gotten to that yet. 

 i know im not in love, but im head over heals for her. i want her back in my life, she was the better part of me. Swimming at night with her, cuddling with her under the blankets cause the air was blasting, playing dumb jokes on each other, and just walking around in public holding hands with her was just the best thing. i havent had a relationship like that since, and i think i know why.. because no one can amount up to her - she was just one of a kind.  i miss those butterflies every time we kissed, i just miss her in general. </3

 okay, i finally added the links on my page to the different pages. now everyone can stop attacking me in my ask box asking for all the links, there you go.. live on with your lives now!

so i just woke up, its 8:36 am & i have work at 9:30-2:30, we are suppose to get hit by the hurricane anytime today… and guess what? ill be at fucking work. this is some fucking bullshit. they shut down the parkway at 8 yesterday from exits 98 down, and they are suppose to close route 22 today. this is going to be crazy, ill keep you guys posted on how bad i gets here. wish me luck getting home. 

 Have work in a little till 930, which sucks.. but i had the day off yesterday. I got a call from another place i applied & i have an interview tomorrow at 3 sharp. If i get the job it’ll be at higher pay & ill be working w/ my best friend! cross your fingers. hope i get it. Anyway, im still working on my blog as of right now - so its still not fully put together. Ill finish it up tonight when i get off. later everyone